Being Limited

I walk nearly every day and I love it! It's my time to pray and be with God. And for the past few months, this time has been a refuge for me as it has been a difficult period for me and my family. That is one reason I haven't written in a while. I just haven't felt inspired. But recently, I realized that it's times like these that I should be writing because it is therapeutic. And tragic times call for creativity to get us through.
It was during one of these walks, that I was inspired to write this blog because I met a most unusual person. I think I had seen him before but I didn't pay much attention to him. His name is, Shawn, and he had something to teach me.
Shawn is probably in his 20's and is, what some would term-- mentally challenged, retarded or limited. He was standing on the corner of a street close to my house and he said hello to me which I responded with a hello back. He then said the most amazing thing, "you look pretty today"! At first, I chalked this up to the fact that, he is, after all, limited in his perceptions of things. And he probably said that to every woman who walked by so it didn't mean that much to me. I just thought it was cute.
But the next day, he said it again. And I thought that this is just something he has learned to say because it brings a good response from those he says it to.
The next day, I filed his compliment in the learning theory of behavior modification and thanked him and went on my way.
Another day, another walk, another compliment.-- I don't think I even heard it because I knew he was going to say it.
The next day, I turned the corner and he wasn't there. I didn't see him anywhere. I looked around for him. Where was he??? I then realized-- I missed him---A LOT!
I continued my walk reluctantly, and it occured to me that I had grown accustomed to being complimented every day and told I was pretty. And --I liked it! It was surprising to me how much his "compliments on cue" had each day become a lift in my step and a smile on my "pretty" face!
This sweet, "limited" boy had found his way into my limited heart.
I had tried every way I could to discount his compliments because I felt they were not grounded in reality. After all, I have a mirror. But who am I to question his motives and even his perception of things? If he thinks I'm pretty, then so be it! I'll accept that at "face" value.
How often do I limit the joy I could feel by explaining it away or thinking it comes from a source that I don't value. So often I limit my relationships by not opening my mind (and heart) to the blessing right in front of me.
Shawn is free of all the complicated ways I try to construct my perceptions of other people and what they say to me. I size up the person based on appearance, clothes, personality, environment, race and my own perception of myself. And in the midst of doing all of that, maybe I heard a little of what they actually said. Why can't I just accept people the way they are and take what they say without analyzing it to pieces? I miss so many blessings by not really believing what people say to me. Even if what they say is hurtful. Sometimes it holds a truth I need to hear.
Life is complicated enough. I need to simplify my communication and start really listening to people and take what they say with a simple "thank you".
I've concluded that Shawn says what he means and I'm the one who is limited.